Know thyself, or send the wrong message

Yesterday I gave a talk at an organization that had asked me to conduct a one-hour educational seminar.  When I arrived, the HR representative apologized because the turnout was modest.  “We have trouble getting our people to come to these sessions - even for important things like when our broker comes to talk about retirement funds.”  I took no offense at this remark, but a few minutes later she did something else that made me wonder about her self-awareness.

As attendees filed into the room she excused herself, citing work obligations.  I’m perfectly capable of introducing myself and I wasn’t expecting her to warm up the audience.  Yet I can’t help but wonder what message she sent by not even staying long enough to introduce me.  Her behavior unintentionally sent a signal that these seminars aren’t worth attending.

In the work setting, self-awareness helps us ensure that that the message we convey is the one we want others to receive.  By analogy, you can probably comb your hair while looking out the window, but chances are you’ll look better if you use a mirror.

Procrastination Nation

If you procrastinate, you're clearly not alone.   Research published in the North American Journal of Psychology (2005) found that 10% of respondents in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Australia were chronic procrastinators.

It's been said that procrastination is a conflict between what one should do versus what one wants to do.  It reflects our effort to escape a problem of some sort rather than address it.

There are different reasons why people procrastinate, and thus different types of procrastination.  To tackle procrastination, it helps to know exactly what type you're dealing with.

Decisional Procrastinators

These people have a difficult time making decisions, which causes them to postpone taking action. 

Tip:  If you're having trouble choosing between two alternatives, maybe you need more data, or perhaps there is a third option you should be considering.

Avoidant Procrastinators

People who are insecure about their performance or fearful that their flaws will be revealed may avoid starting or completing a task. 

Tip:  If the task at hand puts your self-esteem on the line, don't dwell on producing a final, finished product.  Instead, establish some forward momentum by focusing on an initial draft version.

Perfectionistic Procrastinators

These folks delay finishing a task because they keep trying to make it better.  I had a classmate in graduate school who took almost a year longer to get his degree because he simply could not stop revising and refining his dissertation - even when his advisors told him that it was just fine!

Tip:  Remember that perfection is as much in the eye of the beholder as it is in the eye of the procrastinator.  Others might find your finished product to be compelling, useful, and/or satisfying. Why make them wait to see it?

Arousal Procrastinators

These individuals delay the start or completion of a task because they don't find it interesting or thrilling enough.  If you've ever tried to get a teenager to mow the lawn or asked an employee to fill out an expense report, you understand the concept.  Even if the task is relatively captivating or important, arousal procrastinators will frequently drag their heels.  They seem to get a "rush" out of racing to beat approaching deadlines.  As my nephew once proudly declared, "if it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done!"

Tip:  Threats and punishment don't do very much to extinguish this behavior.  You may accomplish more by modifying the situation to create alternative rewards.  For example, if you have employees who are chronically late turning in expense reports, why not sponsor a competition to see who can develop an easier, more automated report system?

Did you find everything you were looking for?

A friend shared the following story about his experience at a major food and housewares retailer in downtown Chicago.  As he was checking out, this is the exchange he had with the cashier:

Cashier:  “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Friend:  “No.”

Cashier:   (silence, accompanied by a bored look)

Friend:  “Don’t you want to know what I couldn’t find?”

Cashier:  (silence, accompanied by a puzzled look)

Friend:  “I said, don’t you want to know what I couldn’t find?”

Cashier:  “o.k.”

Friend:  “I couldn’t find cumin, it’s a spice.”

Cashier:  “I never heard of that.”

We can excuse her for not knowing what cumin is, but more to the point she didn’t seem to know why she entered into this conversation to begin with.  She was trained to ask “did you find everything you were looking for?” but she didn’t appear to grasp the reason for asking.  Had it ever been explained to her?  Had she ever been told about what to do if a customer responded “no” as my friend did?  It sure didn’t look that way.  It’s too bad, because just giving her a one-question script demeans her intelligence, and it creates an empty, pointless encounter for both parties.  

This incident highlights the importance of making sure that employees understand why certain policies and procedures are in place.  How many practices do your people apply haphazardly, incorrectly, or indifferently because they don’t appreciate the business rationale behind them?  

Can Fear of Success be as limiting as Fear of Failure?

I recently had coffee with a friend who owns an appliance repair business.  He’s not in a position to invest in executive coaching for himself but he asked if I might help him with a concern.  His is a one-man shop, and he was feeling overwhelmed by all the tasks and responsibilities associated with running the business.  He truly gets a kick out of repairing appliances, but he acknowledged that he was neglecting new business development.  He said to me, “Larry, there are days when I can’t even bring myself to turn on the computer or make a marketing call.”  As a psychologist, I wondered if he might be depressed.  As we talked further I determined that this wasn’t the case, but he was clearly struggling with a complicated inner dilemma.  

As we discussed his situation, it became apparent that his greatest fear was that he might succeed!  He voiced concern that if he actually followed-through on his networking and marketing plans, he might eventually wind up with more customers than he could accommodate.  As much as he wanted to grow, he was firmly convinced that any expansion of his capacity would result in diminished customer satisfaction.  He explained that providing outstanding service and going the extra mile for his customers was a core value and he couldn’t conceive of anything less.  The thought of a customer being the least bit disappointed was absolutely unacceptable for him.  His service ethic is well intentioned and something worth aspiring to, but he appears to have adopted it so rigidly that it prevents him from taking the steps necessary to ensure that his business will prosper.

I said to him, “the fact is no matter how much effort you expend trying to delight each and every customer, occasionally you will fall short of that goal.  You’re human, your customers are human, and the world is not perfect.  It’s counterproductive to risk the long-term viability of your business in the pursuit of an idealized vision of customer service.” 

He swallowed hard, and in a quiet voice he said, “if my work isn’t perfect, it doesn’t just make me look bad.  To me, it means that I am bad.”   This wasn’t the time or place to delve into the psychological origins of his distorted belief, so I opted for a more surface-level response.  I observed, “it sounds like you’ve over-used a strength to the point that it may be working against you.  Your personal commitment to outstanding work is a strength, but when that commitment is taken to an extreme it can cause you to feel like a personal failure if something – even something outside of your control – goes awry.”  I asked him to think about other small businesses he patronized.   Were they perfect in every respect?   “Not by a long shot” he replied.  Does that mean that their owners are bad?  “Of course not” he said, as a more relaxed smile came to his face. 

As we got up to leave I commented that he had left half of his coffee unfinished.  He shrugged and said, “once in awhile it’s just so-so, but usually they do a great job so that’s why I like coming here.”  I’ll remind him of that the next time we meet.

Is there an Unspoken Truth about Executive Coaching?

I was with a group of HR professionals the other evening when the topic turned to Executive Coaching.  One kind gentleman asked me, “isn’t it true that Executive Coaching is typically used by companies as a last step to cover themselves before they fire someone?”  I can see how some might feel that way.  However in my experience the vast majority of businesses will not spend time and money on Executive Coaching unless they truly value the candidate and/or they believe that he or she can benefit from the process.   I noted that in many cases it is important for the firm to be clear and candid about the specific behavioral shifts the candidate must accomplish if he/she expects to enjoy a long and successful career at the company.  Such clarity is important because it helps all parties (candidate, coach, and the company) develop a shared understanding of what direction the coaching project should take.   But it doesn’t necessarily mean that the company is ready to terminate the individual if the coaching goals are not attained.   I’ve even seen instances where the person made only modest progress during the coaching engagement, but then continued to consolidate their gains the following year – resulting in a promotion rather than a termination.  This leads me to another question one of the HR professionals asked me that evening:  “What can we in HR do to help the coaching process?”  I replied, “remind people to be patient.”  I explained that behavior change is a long, difficult process that is rarely linear.   Coaching candidates typically take two steps forward and one step back.  All too often the backward slide is immediately pounced upon as proof that the person cannot change and that the process is bound to fail.  HR professionals can help reinforce the message that the growth trajectory is neither a straight line nor a short one.  

Last Minute Rejection

The other day I was having breakfast with a friend of mine who is the head of HR for a global firm headquartered in Chicago.  He commented that to his surprise and consternation, a number of highly qualified job candidates had changed their minds after accepting an offer from his firm. 

This seems puzzling given today’s job market and the fact that in any economy and by any measure, this prestigious company would be an employer of choice.  Two possible explanations come to mind:

1.  Those candidates who are employed elsewhere might be concerned that if they leave their current employer and the new job doesn’t work out, they’ll find themselves unemployed in the midst of the worst economic downturn they’ve ever seen.  Even if they’re dissatisfied with their current job they may opt to stick with the familiar rather than risk the unknown.  If so, employers might want to ask themselves “how can we minimize the unknowns for the candidate?”   At some point during the interview process, consider asking candidates the following questions:

“How can we help you get a clearer sense of what it will be like working here/being on this team/reporting to this person?”

“We want you to feel confident that you’ll thrive here.  Is there anything about this opportunity that has you concerned?"

2.  Some candidates advance through the interview process with a singular focus on getting the job without paying close enough attention to whether it’s the right job for them.  Once the offer is in hand they’re forced to quickly assess whether or not it is truly what they want.  Employers might want to ask themselves “how can we help candidates be honest with themselves – as early as possible in the process – about whether or not this is a good fit?"   At some point during the interview process, consider asking candidates one or both of these questions:

“We want you to be sure that this position would be a good fit for you.  How can we help you assess that?"

“Is there anything we can do (or any information we can provide) to help you make sure that this opportunity is right for you?”

Fear of the unknown, and failing to be honest with oneself – two all-too-human foibles that prevent candidates from making a good decision and sticking with it.  Thoughtful questioning during the interview process can help mitigate the impact of these two factors and lessen the likelihood that a candidate will back out at the last minute. 

Employee Training? It's Not Always The Solution

I'm frequently asked by companies to provide training on management and leadership topics; just as frequently I politely decline.  Typically the request takes the form “can you do a presentation for our managers about conflict management/anger management/performance management", etc.  The request is usually accompanied by a complaint about one or two managers who have been ineffective or behaving badly.  So the knee-jerk response is to throw training dollars at the situation.  Sorry, but you simply can’t rely on a workshop to train someone to be a better manager or leader.  Training, particularly using a workshop format, is generally of little value when it comes to improving non-technical performance or bringing about complex behavior change.  Adults learn differently than children do.  No matter how much time and money is spent training people, we know that the best results are achieved when the participant is actively engaged at both the intellectual level and the emotional level.  Hands-on, experiential based learning is typically much more effective than lectures, reading material, or videos.  That’s why executive coaching is a more suitable option for dealing with poor management.  The process requires face-to-face challenging discussions and real-time exercises – activities that are beyond the scope of a training workshop.